Reclaiming Your Erotic Innocence

My teacher once said that money is the kinkiest thing because people will tell you how they like to be spanked or have their hair pulled before revealing how much money is in their bank account.

I challenged him, saying people are more likely to share their bank balance than let you see their porn history. Touche. We all laughed.

Whether it’s money or sex, what we’re really talking about is shadow — those things we try to hide out of shame or fear of judgment, rejection, or embarrassment.

Whatever we place in the shadow is extremely powerful.
And what’s one thing many people place there? Their sexuality.
It’s more powerful than money, because money isn’t real.
Where as, your erotic nature, including your sexuality, is at the heart of your being — which means its the most potent place for personal growth and self-discovery because you’re going right to the source.

Think of your sexuality like a mirror – it reflects back all the stories you’ve been told about what’s desirable, how you’re supposed to act on a date or in a relationship – even if it means abandoning yourself, or what a “good” sex life looks like (that you’re constantly measuring yourself against). The mirror feels overwhelming because you realize it’s not just about sex – it’s about every message you’ve internalized about your self-worth. Working on your sexuality feels like opening Pandora’s box — you don’t know where to start, where it ends, or what uncomfortable truths you might have to face.

This is why the journey through your erotic nature is the most transformative. When you start to question these stories, you discover that the shadow is simply a limiting self-narrative created in response to culture, an ex-partner, an unloving parent, past negative experiences, or fears about ever being truly loved. It’s a freaking lie.

With each fear you face, each shame you question, the false plot begins to breakdown.

The word “fear” means to pass through.
If you don’t pass through, you stay stuck where you are.

But when you find your courage (the passion and fury of your heart) to move forward, you re-discover your innocence…no more stories, just your true essence, and there’s nothing more empowering – or erotic – than that.